Toeing the line

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have done anything.

I was...toeing the line. Why?

Doubt. Nostalgia. Thinking about my life had I stayed.

Testing the waters. Toeing the line. Knowing my life wouldn't be better had I stayed, The Bartender and I wouldn't have worked in the long run, he annoys me mostly, his addictions always would have come before me, we would explode. But. It was never about the words we said to each other. The space between us was the part that I couldn't shake. Being near him felt like enough.

It was never about words, especially because the last words we didn't say to each other were I love you.