Down deep

So.

The Boyfriend has known that The Roommate has a thing for me.

I mentioned this, no?

I hang out with The Roommate. We are friends. We go out often. I've never thought twice about it. Until a month ago, six weeks ago, I can't remember, I've mentioned it before. He made a pass at me. I shrugged it off. Two weeks later, he made a pass at me, I shrugged it off. Again and again and I told myself he was drunk, I told myself that I was handling it, I sought advice from my girl friends, I did not tell The Boyfriend.

But the other night, The Boyfriend mentioned how obvious it is that The Roommate likes me.

Huh?

It doesn't seem obvious to me. It seems like The Roommate gets drunk and confused. But The Boyfriend doesn't know this. He doesn't know he's made passes. I think it's better that way. How is it obvious?

Will it always be this way? Can I ever trust a man to just want to be my friend? Is this why I have such issues with The Boyfriend? Because deep down, I believe he'll get drunk and make a pass at someone else. Deep down, I think he will cheat on me.

Deep down, I have a lot of insecurities.