I haven't seen much of him. I'm trying to busy myself so I don't have to think that it's really not working, that I never thought we couldn't work, that we aren't working. That we may not make it. We may not make it.
I can't allow myself to think it. I can't imagine us not making it.
But maybe it's just me being set in my ways and too scared to let him go when I know that he's hurting me, that I'm hurting him, that we're turning on each other, that maybe we're both busying ourselves so that we don't have to watch it crumble.
It's only been three years of this. Of us doing this dance. I keep hoping maybe this is just a phase. Maybe it will work out. But maybe it won't.
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