I kiss and tell

How do I say this nicely? My roommate is convinced The Boy is gay. As are other friends. Or at least, they're skeptical.

This is a semi-anonymous blog, I want to be tactful.

But. Okay. The Boy, really, he is a grown man. A grown man. His pseudonym should be The Man. Except that sounds sexist etc etc.

He is a virgin.

While affectionate, polite, reciprocatory while I was in Boston, he also refused to bed me. (Ooh dated expression, I know.) And not to say that I necessarily had grand plans for my trip to Boston, but after a certain age, sex feels agiven. It's agiven.

(And to clear this up to all parties, the title of this blog is kissingdoesntkill.blogspot.com, which can also be lovingly construed as kissingwhore.blogspot.com. Whatever works. All in all, I kiss. And tell. And that is all.)

The problem is: what if he is gay? Awesome! I've wanted a gay best guy friend my entire life! ...or since the advent of Will & Grace. Which has passed. Meaning I'm way over due for this fantastic gay man in my life. (I did meet a semi-mutual friend at a show a few months ago, Mitchell -real name here -and I was shamelessly drunk and am pretty sure I full on assaulted him to be my best gay friend. He didn't seem as into it? Nothing to do with my hideous honesty. And drunkeness.)

I digress. Gay best friend, yes, I would love. But I would really prefer that The Boy not be my gay best friend.

I really like The Boy. I really do. While this month of separation has been helpful, so very, very helpful, I feel...embarrassed. Because, yes, I have removed my eggs from his basket, but also, I had legitimate feelings for him.

I hate to admit this, but it's a pride thing. I am in love with a gay man? Or perhaps he is gay but I'm not really sure and I'm not man enough to ask him, so I'm currently composing a "20 questions" joke e-mail to him where question 5 is "What's your number on the Kinsey scale?" (http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/index.html). What does this say about my gaydar? About his? About my chutzpah? It's more pride. It's all pride. How do I politely ask him if he's gay?