Sex appealing

Thats what it is. Thats the part I can't talk myself into. Thats where the line is drawn. It doesn't matter that I think he's fascinating or funny or wealthy (yeah, yeah, sometimes I'm in a gold digging mood). He can be everything I've ever dreamed of, be just perfect on paper, but I can't fake attraction.

I've got it! I've got it! I can't talk myself into it. That's the part. I can't rationalize it.

Because, confession: I kissed the friend. The one with the sombrero who I shouldn't like. And it was good. I didn't have to tell myself I liked it. That I wanted it. Because I wanted it. I liked it. I didn't want to stop. Couldn't maintain conversation because we kept getting distracted kissing. Kissing kissing kissing.

(You know that part? That part where you fall into each other and can't get enough of each other and the chemistry is so good and the kissing is so good and you giggle and you can't stop touching just his hand just his hand maybe his neck maybe his hair maybe just the outline of his jaw. And he smells that good smell and is tall and yes, I like beards and now I'm thinkingthinkingthinking about him and smiling a little. And wanting to see him but wanting to play it cool. It could be nothing it could be something- what if its something?!)