Friendly

I don't have any guy friends. I've seen all of them in some state of undress, in some compromising situation, one in which our lips were pressed against the each others, our limbs tangled in some way. Our hands touching.

It never meant anything. I started this as entertainment, Oh, what mess has Heartless gotten herself into now? And only now am I realizing that maybe it was significant to my character, the way I was. The trouble I would get myself into. And now that I don't have the constant flow of meaningless kissing, I'm finally focusing on the problem that was always there: me.

How do I stop counting my worth in regards to the number of men I can kiss in a month in a week in a day? What is my new outlet, how do I stop this panic that has taken hold?