I've moved and not been adjusting well and so now my new roommates assume The Ex is my boyfriend because why wouldn't he be since he's spent the night at least three times in the last week.
It's all been very confusing.
I just don't want to go home at night to my new big empty house (my roommates are quite the quiet bunch) and sit alone in my big bedroom without anyone. He is a coping mechanism.
So to try to squelch this, I have asked The Doctor to have that drink he asked me about all those weeks ago. The Doctor who is my neighbor.
I'm in such a state of anxiety that the only thing that feels like The Right Decision is to marry The Doctor and live peacefully in a state of calm and stability. Maybe a little bored, but damn stable. I'm twenty-six-years-old and shouldn't be thinking this way, that the only way around my financial problems is through a man, is through a partner. Maybe it's just the idea of having a partner to bear some of the stress of everyday life, of all the daily struggles and changes like moving. Maybe this too shall pass as it always does. Most of me wants to go it alone, wants to stay alone, wants to travel and deal with things in my own way and not share. But the scared part of me wants a nice house and a nice man and probably a cat or two. Must reassess.
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