Game on

What is the difference between having great conversation and having great sex? What is the common denominator? Whywhywhy do I like this one man so much on paper, over drinks, over lunch, but not anywhere else? Why can't I equate this great conversation into great everything? Why is it with The Bartender, why is it, that the conversation is fine, the bits where I'm not giggling, that is. Its fine. We're not talking major issues here. But it feels different, and it doesn't matter what we're talking about.

This blows so much out of the water. Does it even matter, really? Is fate just going to do what it wants? It doesn't matter that I like one man, that I think he's witty and charming and intelligent, because I'm not going to feel anything. Leave me alone with The Bartender for five minutes and just you see. You will see.

How much am I actually responsible for here? Do I have control over anything? Do I have control over the fact that I found myself playing the 82% game and beating my own personal record this evening? Sitting at a table, scoring 100%. I'm too good at my own games, it seems.