Nip it in the bud

I think it’s the opposite of the slow fade. I think The Bartender is trying to cut me out. Which is understandable. It’s understandable. It’s pointless to go around, living my life almost a thousand miles away, wanting him. It’s pointless. Its a moot point. And we both know this. But now he's not talking. He's not talking. This morning, I slept through 4am without a hitch.

So maybe it’s both of us who are becoming accustomed to our separate lives? And maybe I'm bitter again, because it feels like I'm taking all of it -all of the looks and the words and the smilingsmilingsmiling -and just tossing it aside. It doesn't mean anything, now that I'm here and he's there.

But it does mean something. It is significant. And I miss him terribly. It shouldn't be so easy to forget. I don't want to forget. But I suppose time works the way it does and its inevitable. I'm here. He's there. It’s a moot point.