Saying all the right things

I made the decision. It wasn't easy. I had to trust my instincts, and now I must continue to trust myself. To know that I weighed the options. That I thought it through. That I based my decision on facts, feelings, truth.

I saw The New Guy, perhaps now the Former Guy? My apartment is cold. He graciously offered to let me borrow a spare space heater. I went over to his house. Wasn't sure how to act. Wasn't sure what to say. How close to sit. Because we're officially just friends. Aren't we? It was fine, all well and good, except that there is chemistry. There is still chemistry. It didn't dissipate in four days.

I like him enough to want to see him still, just with all his clothes on. With all my clothes on. Because I'm in a relationship. Because I'm in love. Walking home from his house, heater in hand, all I could think was about the decision I made.

I didn't choose him. He knows that and I know that and we're still going to be friends. We are friends. The truth is, I want to be in love. I'm happy in love. I'm happy. This is the good part. This is the part I'll remember. Not the random dating and having drinks and awkward morning afters (despite the good stories they all make). I want to be in love. I want to wake up pressed against Mr. Right and know, know without a doubt, that it's right. That there's nowhere I'd rather be, no one who understands me better, no one else to love. Only him.