Questionable matters

How do we move forward? How do we accept the past? It happened, we must let go of it, we must let go. How do we move forward and not let the past keep sneaking back into the present?

It's cyclical now, our fighting. Someone said this who said this who brought up this former lover. This former relationship. This former thing that no longer matters but neither one of us can let it go.

How do people successfully go from friends to relationship? Isn't there a middle ground of knowing just too damn much?

We know too much about each other's pasts. We can't seem to shake it. We can't seem to stay focused on the present, on the fact that when we're happy, we've never been happier. Well, now I'm just speaking for myself. I've never been happier. Usually. How do I steer myself from dwelling on things that happened already and just don't matter? How can I make myself believe they don't matter? How can I shake the worry that I will never feel comfortable here, in this place?

I suppose I just look forward, not back. I don't dwell. I don't allow myself to get caught up. It doesn't matter. I keep telling myself it doesn't matter.