I spent a perfectly respectable evening out with friends. Until I ended up at The Virgin Bartender's place of work and played it cool, but who are we kidding here?
He was nice and friendly and all those words, and I acted bored and indifferent, but when I left, he didn't text, didn't try to get me to stay, and what I knew all along has been confirmed.
I guess I just wanted to be wanted. To feel like I could change his mind with my mere presence after no contact for a month. It's all so egotistical, it's all so in my own head, it all doesn't matter. Just another small detail that adds up to filing him away, to not go there, to have no expectations and to stay away from there a little longer, to establish new boundaries, to not feel veiled rejection upon leaving.
I am not that person any longer. I am not broken over an unreliable man's indifference.
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