This talking.
It sets me back.
I'm twenty four hours in and many drinks in and set back.
That guy who I'm not dating but dating but not dating texted me and I didn't care one way or another. Not that I really cared yesterday before the talking.
After the talking with The Ex I'm weighing everything a little too closely, worried I'm still making the wrong decisions, finally aware now that my unwillingness to love him at the outset was the reason he could never love me when I finally decided to love him. It's complicated.
But aside from me already feeling unable to accept anyone into my life, aside from that, I now worry that not accepting someone is going to lead into another cyclical situation where I find myself in a few years in this same position simply because I couldn't get my act together initially and then the man I loved couldn't love me after the irresponsible way I treated him at the outset.
I don't even make sense. Well. Maybe to the crazies.
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