I'm dating someone reliable and sensible. But. There isn't a spark. A spark doesn't matter in the long run. Or does it? Might I regret it? Heaven forbid I do something I regret.
I'll admit it, now that I'm seeing The Virgin Bartender everywhere, I'm looking for him everywhere. I hate that he got to me. I hate that I have a spark, I sparked with an unreliable, indifferent man. I hate that being with a reliable, interesting, communicative, honest, thoughtful man doesn't stop me from trolling past this other man's bar, stopping by, seeing him out and ignoring him but also secretly checking my phone in case he sent me a message.
He hasn't sent me a message during any of our many run ins. I need to just get used to seeing him around, seeing him on my turf, seeing him on his turf, accepting this small town, and maybe accepting that I want what I can't have, that it's nothing, that he's nothing, that I stormed out of his house half dressed on Valentine's night for a reason: he's not what I need.
No comments:
Post a Comment