Schooled

There are plenty of fish in the sea, yes? No.

No!

Let's rephrase: There are plenty of fish in the sea, but most of them are douchebags. Most of them are too loud or too quiet or can't commit or aren't tall enough or the chemistry is wrong. Most of them don't read books or have interesting things to say or they wear those whale pants. You know the ones. The short man shorts with whales or alligators or some kind of sea creature placed about. Sea horses?

I digress.

It's never right. These men with their starfish pants. They aren't right.