Beginning of the end

I'm trying to sound like I know something, like I understand the rules here, like it all makes sense to me. It doesn't make sense to me. The kissing I get. It's the bit in between. He leads his life. I lead mine. And I have no idea where this is going, this sporadic contact, this beginning, or is it a beginning? That's just it, maybe. I always just assume it's a beginning when in reality, maybe it's not a big deal, nothing much, just dicking around. And maybe it's giving away too much to admit to this, but I can't ever tell. I always give too much of myself, think it's something, when it's nothing.