I want

I want to stop hating him.

I want peaceful acceptance.

I want to not care what he does.

I never want to feel jealous again.

I want to function like a normal human being, like someone who isn't still suffering two and a half months after she got dumped. I can't see a way out. I can't even latch on a to a credible, date-able guy. My latest options include someone I quickly grew to hate, you remember him, what with his wanting to know me. And then I'm fixated for another second on The Bartender, you may also remember him, the raging alcoholic. And the guy from back when, back when Chicago was new, back before The Ex, when the world was bright and shiny.

I still can't pull it together. I still can't fully re-focus my energy into not hating The Ex.

I just want to be normal again.