Mad at the world

I don't know why I let it get to me like this. Why I'm so mad at myself, mad at the world, worried that I will never, ever trust a man, not really. I spent the last couple of nights with the same group of friends, including this one guy who I sort of know, have sort of known for years, and last night I could feel his interest in me, his pointed questions, his buying me a drink and brushing his hand against my arm.

But I left. This is a small town, I vaguely know some of his exes, I didn't want to go there.

But then of course I thought about him, only because I told myself not to.

And then tonight the same group of friends got together, and a new woman was introduced to me, a new woman who happens to be his girlfriend. Maybe I take it all too seriously. Maybe this is what people do. I'm not mistaken, I didn't read too much into it, he was interested in me last night and no, he didn't outwardly do anything to cross a line, to cheat on his now-existent girlfriend, but was too interested in my stories to mention her and it's just another man stacked on the deck of All the Reasons I Cannot Trust Enough to Fall in Love.