No. I'm not pursuing him, don't you worry. It's my lack of interest that is startling.
Or not startling at all, as a matter of fact.
A pattern.
If I know a man is taken, but I also know I may have a crush on him, I go into an extreme defensive? offensive? mode (I never quite understood these sports terms.). I won't even acknowledge his existence, in an effort to...not seduce him? (Is it that a given? Do I just seduce away whomever I please? That ballsy, huh?) Well. Not seduce, perhaps. But I think, subconsciously, I don't want to put myself in a compromising situation. Because with me, it's always compromising. In my mind or real life, it's always compromising.
The not putting myself in that position, does that make me wholesome?
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