The ugly truth

This is what happens, you see? You live and you learn, I get it, I get it, but. But. Date with a new man.

It's all about knowing someone. Anytime someone means something to you, it's different. First date with The Doctor? Same place, funnily enough, and I kept thinking that we should have had a heated argument. But this time, this time, it was exactly the same. So I could feel the same way about this different man? I could talk Politics and Religion and move forward and be okay with this? I could be happy with him?

Or be tortured, what's the difference?

What's the difference in passing someone on the street, and knowing them? What makes us depend on the other? What is that? The Doctor, with The Doctor, it was just the same as tonight. It's striking a chord because it was just the same: same restaurant, same sort-of safe conversation, same tentative chivalry. And then things exploded. But how did they explode?

Did I legitimately have feelings for him? Or is this angst? My [supposed-to-be-gone-far, far-away-by-the-age-of-sixteen] angst.