The path less traveled

I went to work and went to a volunteer meeting today, because this is me, getting my life in order. I am no longer a total basket case, I am a contributing member of society who gets shit done.

I left my meeting and got sidetracked at a boutique, quickly left the boutique. I should not spend my time in boutiques.

I walked towards my car, cursing the chilly rain that fell, wondering why I take so long to warm up to new people, I'm not shy, thinking I needed to stay on the left side of the street because The Latest Bartender's bar is on the right side and I assume he's working but maybe he's not what if he thinks I'm a stalker?
when I saw him.

He was feeding a meter and I kept walking towards him with my pink umbrella and purple boots, wearing the shirt I wore the first time we kissed (don't I have any other shirts?!). He didn't see me, was completely focused on the task at hand, I watched him and walked towards him and thought, Of course. There's no escaping anyone in this small town, especially someone you've convinced yourself you're in love with.

He didn't notice me until the last possible second, until I was only a few feet away, and he smiled and hugged me and I couldn't speak. Suddenly regretted that last double shot of espresso.

Have I mentioned that before? My utter addiction to caffeine?

I stuttered like a fool. I wish I could say I was cooler. That I held it together for you, dear non-audience. I failed you.

I blame the coffee.

What if I hadn't stopped at that silly boutique? What if I had taken a different street?

But up close, in the light of day, he isn't as pretty. His eyes were tired, and I kept reminding myself I dodged a bullet.

Didn't I?

Eulogizing it gives it so much more weight.

I dodged a bullet.

Why do I have to keep reminding myself?