I'm hiding it from all my friends. I can't tell anyone that the man I allowed to run me out of Chicago is now frequenting my bed back in Smalltown.
Again.
It's just too shameful. I have my independence and my time now but still he gets to me. I have a million friends, a million hobbies, I have an overscheduled life but still he has found a way back in. Not in any official capacity but in a way that reminds me that sometimes it just feels different. It feels so different that I will hide it from my friends, play coy, pretend like I am okay when truth be told he was in my bed mere days ago, this man who made me a woman who leaves her life to escape the pain of losing him.
And now it's suddenly (yes, rather suddenly) been five years of us doing this dance.
I love him. I love him not.
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