Time to grow a pair

I never listen to Ted Talks. It's an unpopular stance but I just don't like them.

But I was sent one a few days ago and listened to it and it resonated with me. It's called Why 30 Is Not The New 20 and it put a lot of things into perspective for me. I started this blog as sort of a joke, as a way to laugh about it all, but I've changed a great deal since its beginning, and especially over the last eight months. 

Dr. Meg Jay delivered the talk and said, "Our 20s are the defining decade of adulthood. 80% of life's most defining moments take place by about age 35. 2/3 of lifetime wage growth happens during the first ten years of a career. More than half of Americans are married or are dating or living with their future partner by age 30. Personality can change more during our 20s than at any other decade in life. Female fertility peaks at 28. The brain caps off its last major growth spurt. When it comes to adult development, 30 is not the new 20.  Even if you do nothing, not making choices is a choice all the same. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do." 

Dr. Jay also said, 'The best time to work on your marriage is before you are married." Aha! That's it. Better myself now, so that in the future, in whatever relationship I choose, marriage or not, I will bring the best version of myself to the table.

I'm not trying to sound preachy. But I'm 26 and I've been living like my 20s don't count relationship-wise. I've ventured out and tried new things and am finding a career, have some direction, know that I can succeed, but I need to change how I view men. I am, I have been, and this talk has given me confirmation of its necessity. It's not a game. It's time to make intentional decisions, to make informed choices and stop crying over things that don't work out when I never thought they would.